Over the past 5 or 6 years I been waging my own not so private little war on the word compromise, and although I can see the theoretical and pragmatic benefits of the notion of compromise, everyone getting most of what they in exchange for taking on things they specifically don’t want, doesn’t make sense to me! My view is, don’t do the deal if there is ANY compromise in it for anyone….
In the real world, where my life; my business; my core relationships live; I can only see that the potential benefits of this convenient notion of compromises is FAR outweighed by the disadvantages and deficiencies of the practice.
Few of my reasons why, and please be aware that I’d love someone to educate me if I’m being blind-sided by this view.
Fundamentally I believe that this notion of compromise negatively effects our lives and the lives of millions of others, I think we need to replace it to a better construct.
Reason One: Focus creates reality, if we agree that compromise is good, practical and sensible, where do we draw the line? I may be wrong, but in my view the archetypal marriage counselor says that compromise in a relationship is necessary. Well f#*& that I say, I don’t buy that one at all, in fact I reckon that comprising in our relationships puts us on a slippery slope to discomfort, misalignment, resentment and probably divorce. So, if someone can set me straight and explain why compromise in our relationships makes sense, please let me know now…
Second Reason: Like everything, habits are like muscles, almost everyone knows the saying that the more you work them (muscles) the stronger they get, and I can’t see any benefit in building my compromise muscles, because compromise is less than aspirational, and not what anyone wants, so why start?
For me compromise is like telling white lies, I’m sure everyone has told a white lie at some time or another, and probably for good reasons… we didn’t choose to tell the truth probably for fear of hurting someone else feelings…. Or if we told the entire truth it might ‘’over complicate” the situation, or what-ever reason we justified to ourselves…. Big question, was it worth it all the time? How many times did it backfire on us? How many times have white lies escalated into sticky situations, compromising situations? Situations, where we “Oh Bugger, why didn’t I just tell the truth?”
For me lies are just like compromises they tend to get out of hand, don’t support our higher potential AND have the potential to hurt people we care for, AND to get us into deep trouble. Literally!
The final reason is a question I’d like to ask before I go and grab a delicious cup of coffee with my niece. I believe we should all be considering. If you agree that it makes sense to compromise and you justify it because you say ”it’s the sensible thing to do”, where do you draw the line?
It is a huge question? Massive question and I feel it’s very difficult to draw that line real-time and end up back on the slippery slope…. SO, question, where in our primary relationships, home-life, work-life, leadership, personal health, happiness, wealth, and creation is the best point to draw the line and choose the no compromise answer? It’s difficult to know right? Especially if now, you’ve developed the habit to expect compromise to come as a natural course of life. That’s my point in a nutshell!
I say NO to that! That is way too complicated for a someone like me to navigate and monitor real-time and make judgement calls on the fly. And that’s why I say no to lying and no to compromising, because I think that in a strange way they kind of come from the same place, and that is not a place that supports my higher or humanity’s higher potential….
Thoughts? Questions? Arguments?
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